Long story short, I discovered a few drafts that I'd saved on this blog. Of course, they were all pretty ridiculous (this is me we're talking about). And this one is no exception. I wrote it a couple of years ago, but it still seems pertinent. Since Valentines Day was just last week, I figured I'd post it. What the heck.
To all the single ladies out there, I give you
10 Reasons to Delight in Your Current Single Status
1. Shaving your legs. I mean, you can do it if you want, and you probably do. But I feel like it's not nearly as big of a deal when you're single and no one really comes near your legs. Just throwing that out there. You know, for all of the other lazy people in the world. Not that I don't shave my legs, but I like having the option.
2. Swapping hilarious dating stories. Let's be honest- Half of the fun of dating is having a great story to tell someone later. So even on those horrid blind dates when you feel wildly uncomfortable or you worry that your date might be a crazy lunatic.... You can just think of the reactions that you'll get when telling the story later. Let me just say, I've been on some really, really weird dates. And the sharing laughs with your friends about it later, pretty much makes up for the hours of agony. Ladies? Ammmm I riiiight?
3. Beyonce sings a song specifically for you. How many people can say that? Queen B. Singing. For you. (Just let that sink in for a moment.) "All the single ladies, put your hands up!"
4. Your life always has the potential to become a chick flick. Just saying- You never know. You never know. You could be listening to the radio and hear someone in Seattle talking about how much they loved their recently deceased wife... and you could fall in love. You could be meet on the top of the Empire State Building and hold hands. I mean, crazier things have happened, right? The point is, it could happen. You're single, so you've got the most important part covered. Way to go.
5. I have two words for you: Chick lit. (No, not Chiclet. We're not talking about gum here.) You could also say romance novels... but that makes me think of, um, more questionable material. Love stories. Literature for chicks, if you will. Not that you can't read them if you're not single. But the benefit of reading them when you're single is that you don't have to worry if you fall in love with a completely fictional character. It's cool. You can love Mr. Darcy (or Philip Wyndham, for all you Edenbrook lovers) all you want. It's fine. No guilt here.
6. You get your whole bed to yourself (which is really great if you're like me and still sleep in a twin-sized bed).
7. You can go crazy purchasing new clothes and it's okay. You can justify it as "an investment in your future". (I've legitimately used that excuse before. It's a real thing.) Also, let's be honest, you can do whatever you want with your money. But I feel like terming it as an investment makes me feel much less selfish. It makes me feel more like my purchases will benefit my posterity. (I mean, what if someone asks me out because he loves teal sweaters and I happen to be wearing a nice teal sweater? This is something that could have eternal import!)
8. Being single can also save you money. (I feel like I really need to justify myself after my last bullet point.) Chances are you won't spend as much on home decor, for one thing. Most of the quotes, picture frames, etc etc etc, seem to have some kind of message about love. Something like 'you are my person', or 'the world is only turning because you love me and we're married people'. That kind of thing. And you, my friend, will not even be tempted to spend money on those. What a blessing. The blessing of single-hood.
9. You are much more likely to become a YouTube sensation when you're single. Just saying- Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, Susan Boyle... I rest my case. (For a lengthier list, click HERE. Not that everyone on that linked website is single. But they all got famous from YouTube. And there is a good chance that many of them were single. In my option.)
As a side note: I just Googled how to become famous on YouTube... There are so many great resources that pull up. And some of them are quite funny. Think of it this way, this could be the first step in living your own personal chick flick. You're welcome.
10. You've got options. If you don't want to be lonely, you can visit FarmersOnly.com. If you don't want to deal with all the fuss, you can just hop on over to MailOrderHusbands.net. The key is that you have options. You can create your story in any way that you wish.
Umm, speaking of which, you really should hop on over to THIS SITE. BuzzFeed does it again. 20 very specific dating sites that really do exist. All I can say is "everybody loves a clown... let a clown love you". Oh my.
(Is anyone else singing to themselves "We found love in a hopeless place"?)
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